In Conversation with Stephanie Venditto
Tell us about your background:
I always felt I was late to the party. I didn’t go to college but I always followed my instincts and that has been the most prosperous place for me. Conscious starting point: I was a classical ballet dancer during my young teenage years all the way through graduating high school. I danced with the School of American Ballet in NYC and the Boston Ballet. Once my body hit puberty and started to take its own shape, I knew the ballet world was not going to keep inviting me back. While all of my high school friends went off to college, I got myself a job at Steve’s Ice Cream, in Providence RI, where I served all the Brown University and RISD students. I felt lost.
Instinct #1: When I was 18, I moved to NYC and got into the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. It was my introduction into acting. That was a pivot into a whole new world that scared me but really resonated with me. I snuck into the Actors Studio, through the help of a friend, I took classes with the likes of Shelly Winters and sat in on master workshops with Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. I absorbed as much as I could from any venue that would have me, while supporting myself in restaurants and freelance work at Gap/Old Navy, putting together design boards for presentations, thanks to my friends for hiring me.
Instinct #2: When I was 32 I moved to Los Angeles and for the next 10 yrs I had built a wonderful sustainable career for myself, in television and film. I loved the journey. It also had its challenges. I was already considered too old to play a lot of roles that resonated with me. Unless, they were Mom’s, therapists or snarky nurses. I seemed to attract sexless roles. And, It was also difficult for me to market myself as a certain kind of character. I was always trying to fit into what casting directors saw me as. “She’s too old for the part”. “She’s too pretty for this”. “Can you lose weight”? I once had an agent tell me, “There are actresses that you want to sleep with, as soon as they walk through the door, and then there are intelligent actresses like you. It’s not easy to sell you”.
Instinct #3: After a profound homework assignment that Jeffrey Tambor gave me to do... which was to explore another kind of creativity, other than acting, in order to tap into other creative sources within. This assignment had a MAJOR impact on me and led me to book a trip to Italy. Excerpt from my story: Somehow, with very little money, I found a co age in Tuscany, rented a car and began to get lost in the unknown. At first, I was scared. I had never done anything like this! Everyday, I would drive my little stick-shift through the winding Chian 222, and cry amongst the gorgeous surroundings. I cried tears of unexplored joy and deep gratitude. One by one, all the unexplored portals inside me began to open and reveal themselves. I discovered the parts of me that were dying to be heard. The feminine goddess. The curious listener. The light spirit. The savvy old soul. The masterful wiseman. I felt a different kind of strength, a sense of connection. I had an affair with myself on this trip and I fell in love.
Instinct #4: I moved back to NY where I taught and coached actors. EUPHORIA!!!! I found my inner voice and expression. I was part of something purposeful. I felt useful in a way that made me feel aligned with myself.
Instinct #5: I was 43 yrs old when I was unexpectedly offered a job at Tory Burch. I couldn’t say no to the opportunity and steady pay. In my interview for the position, I was told it wouldn’t work out. The director of production told me I was, “Not A Spring Chicken With A Golden Ticket”. But, I got the job anyway. This was an enormous identity change!! I was there for 10 yrs. I learned and experienced so much... it was challenging, and scary as hell... and amazing... until it became toxic and no longer amazing. I was depleted and felt completely out of alignment with myself and any kind of purpose. I kept feeling this nagging pull to leave and find that euphoria again... but, MY job was the one that gave my husband and I the steady paycheck with benefits. We relied on that financial consistency.
Instinct #6: At 51 yrs old, I desperately wanted to be a part of that connected collaborative journey and dialogue again. I took a chance and applied to a program at Brown University for Leadership and Performance to become a Certified Coach. I got in! I left TB and became a Communications/Leadership/Life Coach... I was no longer serving ice cream to the Brown University kids... I was one of them. :-) I am 54 yrs old and thriving in my true purpose. In every part of my journey, I always felt like I came to the party late, but I always found my spot at the table, had some amazing meals and conversations with some amazing people along the way, thanks to my instincts!
What do you wish you’d known when you started out?
NOTHING!!!! Even if I had known it... I probably wasn’t ready to acknowledge it because I was too concerned about what the outside world thought.
Best career advice you've ever received?
You’ve got nothing to lose but your pride! And since we all have enough pride to last us for a lifetime... just go for it!
What leadership qualities are important to you?
Quiet Leadership... a leader that listens, sees you, hears you, one that wants to learn about you and utilize your strongest interests. A leader that has the courage to admit to being human and walks the talk!
What has been the biggest challenge in your career so far?
Which career?? Not to take things personally. You know better and yet... because you care, there’s a fine line. So, you do the best you can.
And for fun, what is your favorite wardrobe staple?
Still to this day... ripped jeans and a t-shirt with flip flops.
Instagram @stephvendi
